13/05/2018

Success: Is There A Magic Formula?


I put a lot of pressure on myself; I kinda always have done. Some people feel pressure from their parents or siblings or perhaps amongst their friends, but I believe mine solely comes from me. It's not so much a pressure to be someone that I'm not, I overcame that a long while ago, but more so a pressure to be successful in every aspect of my life. There's a John Mayer lyric that really been resonating with me lately: "You're like 22 girls in 1 and none of them know what they're running from." Am I trying to be too many people at once? Can I be the one that focuses on her career, be the fun one with the big social life, plus the one that keeps fit and eats healthily? Can I be the shoulder to cry for a friend in need and smart one that chimes in with those intelligent anecdotes? Can I also have fun and not care about all of these things going on just for a second? And can I be the one that is exceeds at them all, all at once?

Perhaps - but I'm certainly yet to find the magic formula. BALANCE is a buzzword we tend to hear quite frequently isn't it? Work-life balance, balanced lifestyle, balanced diet. But picture this, life is a tight rope and we're balancing along it, trying to juggle all the different aspects: career, social life, relationships, hobbies, finances, the list goes on. Sooner or later we're going to drop something, stop prioritising it or at least put it on the back burner. One of the biggest life lessons I've learnt recently, is that as much as I want to be good at EVERYTHING, the most successful people aren't. They have just identified one thing they're great at and excelled in it. Of course, this also comes down to how you define your own success and there are a few thing I wanted to share that have helped me out lately.


1. I've stopped trying to be everyone's friend - it's exhausting.

I like to think I'm a pretty social person. I can start a conversation with a brick wall, I tend to get on with almost everyone (unless you're an asshole) and have quite a few people in my life who I would consider my good friends. And whilst this can be problematic in terms maintaining those relationships (Cue the: OMG HOW WAS IT REALLY BEEN SIX MONTHS?!), it is significantly more rewarding knowing you always have a friend to call. Particularly when living away from your home and relatives, your friends are your family. Recently, I've thought more about the forced friendships in my life and how I've waste time and energy - often out of politeness - when truthfully conversations are empty and lacklustre. Sometimes it is the people you're forced to spend your time with, either at work or socially - or perhaps those that made their way into your friendship group that you have absolutely nothing in common with. During your life, it is natural to lose friends. People grow up at different rates and often grow apart. You lose what you once both shared and can realise a friendship is based on the past memories rather than the present. But friendship to me, has become way more quality than quantity. Cherish those friendships that bring happiness to your life but ultimately, stop trying to be everything to everyone.


2. It's important to be selfish - at times.

Am I a bad person for saying I'm done with trying to make everyone happy? When I say it like that - yes, but the realisation you're not going to be everyone's cup of tea. One of my favourite phrases and one I've grown to live by is 'you do you'. Although it was coined from a hungover day of watching the Kardashians on a Sunday, it's something that really hits home with the freedom of being selfish. But selfish is a tricky word and I hate the negativity that surrounds it. I'm very much someone who will say 'yes' to everything, but its also important to be able to say no and take time out. You can't please everyone - so stop trying. I'll admit I gave up on this one a while ago. No matter where you go or what you do, someone is going to have a problem with it.   , advice giver, taxi driver, partner in crime or everyone's cup of tea. Nor should you try to be.


3. Find what works for you - and stick with it.

When it comes to finding your magic formula, I believe it is all about what works for you. Last year I got into a rut of not really exercising, feeling tired and generally down about my body. It's easy to make excuses and mine was that I just didn't have the time. But fast-forward a few months later, I've MADE time and joining ClassPass has been the main factor. If you're not familiar with the concept, ClassPass basically allows members to visit multiple different gym classes around London for a discounted rate. ClassPass has revolutionised my exercise routine and allowed me to fit classes before and after work. Although this sounds like a sponsored post - it's not - I wish it was! Additionally my organisation has really been transformed since I discovered an app called Calendar 5. This is something I've told all my friends about and I've already converted my sister into an avid user. I've never really got on with the regular iPhone calendar, I dislike the layout and never feel motivated to use it however with Calendar 5, it allows me to see a week/month view in one go and avoids me double booking - or worse - forgetting about something.

This post is in collaboration with All Sole & Dr Martens 
T-Shirt - Boo
 Skirt - Tobi 
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